Feeling the heat

Well, last week was a scorcher.

So much so, that I gave up on Fathers’ Day activities halfway through the afternoon and went to bed for a bit. The following day, I dressed for work, drove my youngest to school, and then turned round and headed back home I felt so rough.

Again, I had an hour’s kip during the afternoon. After this I felt brave enough to step outside into our south-facing garden with some crazy idea about hanging out some washing.

Stepping out of the back door, I felt sure, was pretty similar to stepping off an aircraft in Saudi Arabia.

I turned round and went back in.

I felt so fatigued, dizzy and achey that I even Googled to see if I’d given myself cyanide poisoning. I’d made elderflower cordial, and elderflower and gooseberry jam a day or two previously and the stems apparently contain cyanide (in the same sort of way that apple pips do).

To a paranoid, heat-addled, MS-scarred brain like mine, it’s pretty amazing how similar the symptoms of MS and elderflower-induced cyanide poisoning are.

Tuesday, I was pretty much right as rain, so I ventured back to the office knowing that I could leave any time I needed to, and on Wednesday I’d booked a day off anyway to attend school sports day.

My youngest daughter’s school sports day involves a lot of standing up and moving from one event to another. The weather reports said partial cloud.

After two and a half hours of hanging around in full burning sunshine, I ventured back to my car that I’d helpfully parked about a mile away.

It was then that I found it was incredibly hard to walk in any meaningful foot-in-front-of-the-other kind of way. As I was the first one out of the school gates, I wondered what the other parents thought of my stumbling feet; feet that felt like they were made from bags of sand, and legs that felt like they were wading rather than walking.

At least I’d had the forethought of deliberately parking somewhere shady. Slumping into the driver’s seat, I allowed myself a rare emotional moment – probably no more than a few seconds, but enough to release the weight of what I’d bottled up – before turning the key in the ignition and just getting on with the rest of the day.

When I eventually got home there was a letter from Big City Hospital waiting for me. It was my neurologist to say the results of my recent MRI were back. It showed new lesions, apparently.

Now here’s the interesting thing – my neuro’s exact words look designed to set my mind at rest: ‘a small number of small new lesions compared to the scan of three years ago’. For someone who proof reads as part of their job, the use of the word ‘small’ twice in the same sentence stuck out like a luminously sun burned neck. The scan of three years ago that he mentioned had itself shown no new activity since the previous scan when I was first diagnosed, so these are the first new lesions on a brain scan of mine in nine years.

Anyway, my neurologist didn’t think this ‘necessarily need prompt a change in treatment’, but he’s asked that I come in to see him anyway ‘to discuss’.

Hmmm… all well and good if I’m being summoned to ask questions and set my mind at rest, but there’s also a little part of me that feels a little worried.

Advertisements

Getting fit with Mr Uhthoff

This isn’t a new year’s resolution, but I have decided to get fit.

This incorporates a couple of in-built problems, the most obvious being the MS, of course, but the second being the fact that I don’t do personal trainers (I have to admit to being quite rude to the only one I have ever had) and I don’t do gyms.

Therefore I have been taking to the roads for the occasional run in the hours of darkness.

Regular readers will know that I had a spate of evening runs last year up on the nearby moors, but this time it’s serious.

Why? Because it’s winter and I can push myself a bit further each time without overheating and I’m slightly less ill than I was last year, so the repercussions of Uhthoff’s phenomenon aren’t as great. Also, because it’s dark I can run incognito (it takes a while before I get over my self-consciousness).

I have been out three times in just over a week and I have lost two pounds in weight. I want to lose about a stone overall. Plus, as you can see in my post “Giving in” I need to build up my stamina.

I am trying to build up to five mile runs with a few hills thrown in, so far I have progressed as far as a two and a half miler on the flat with a sprint for the last 100 metres or so.

I am comparing this year’s training to the last time I did some serious regular running three years ago. The 2007 fitness regime took place a year and a bit before I was officially diagnosed, so I have only realised in retrospect that the experiences I had then were due to MS.

Back in 2007 I experienced a numb leg and a rubbery burning smell afterwards which I whimsically attributed to having burnt-out some electrics in my head as I was running (not realising how close to the mark I was). I would also get oscillopsia on my longer runs.

The last fitness regime tailed off when my youngest was born. So far, as far as Uhthoff is concerned, I have been a little wobbly legged after each run, but this has diminished each time I have been out. I have also had ‘slow eyes’ for a while after I finish (so I am expecting some oscillopsia when the longer runs kick in). I still have the peculiar burning smell too.

I have been doing some reading up and now know the burning smell is phantosmia – an olfactory hallucination – and is quite common for people with epilepsy as part of the pre-fit aura or with people who have brain injuries in the part of the brain that interprets smell. I guess I must have demyelination here.

My ideal, is that one day (this year or next) I may (NB: may) do a 10k run in aid of one of the UK MS charities.

My current thinking is that I will be supporting the MS Trust for the support they showed me in terms of the excellent free information they sent to me when I was diagnosed.

With this in mind, I have been consulting the MS Trust’s superb online training information. It is well worth checking out even if you don’t have MS as they include clearly written information and training schedules for beginners as well as more experienced runners.

I’ll keep you posted on how I get on.

a little bit further along that long road to fitness

Managed two miles tonight in my secret moorland training camp. Yay! target reached.

Contended with failing light, with mist/drizzle (mizzle?) and a sharp headwind on the flat and downhill sections, but luckily behind me for the uphill. Oh! and an undone shoelace for much of the second mile

I think the “bad” weather helped. I have never been a hot weather type, but the drizzle was ice cold and kept me cool all the way round, so none of the usual crap apart from a few jumpy visuals after – also right eye wouldn’t look right for a while. I only had shorts and a T-shirt – no poncey jogging bottoms for me – no way!

Been a fairly busy day all round. Feeling good now – buzzing. Won’t be able to sleep easily. Shame because it’s one in the morning already.

Hopefully three miles next time.

The long road to fitness

I went for a run this evening out on the moors. There’s a triangle of road that is exactly a mile round so it’s easy to assess how (un)fit I am.

I hit the MS wall at one mile. Uhthoff not far behind – my eyes starting to play tricks. I just couldn’t lift my feet at all.

Next time I go out, I will aim for two miles.

Two years ago, I was going out for two five mile runs every week, involving hill climbs, the lot. I also wondered why I couldn’t see properly as I was running or why my leg was going numb in the shower afterwards.

I feel surprisingly un-fatigued now and it’s quite late. Just sitting in my tingly cloud. Must try to go out again before my personal trainer comes on Thursday.